no f*cking hamburglar jokes
this just in from fred's patio-meister lee allen:
Sometime Sunday morning, a thief dubbed “spiderman” by the Fort Worth CSI robbed the safe at FRED’S. This guy is a PROFESSIONAL. The officers on the call knew who and what had happened the second they walked in the door. Spidey cases the joint, finds out where the safe is, scales the walls, cuts several holes in the roof, uses a scope to find motion detectors, jumps down through the hole with power tools, then methodically and patiently cuts a hole through the safe. This could all take up to 4 hours.
Mission Possible. However exciting this may have been for him, he hurt FRED’S more than say some of the larger corporate places he has hit like Lowe’s or Michael’s MJDesign. Thanks to all of FRED’S friendly patrons, we had an incredible record breaking weekend and this bastard took Saturday night’s bank. Needless to say, new security measures are already in place.
I am writing this to ask for your help in organizing a live music “Event” on the Patio. Not a fundraiser or benefit, but a winter festival to clear the air, if you will. Saturday December 10, weather permitting, FRED’S will host a day of live music on the heated Patio. 12pm-12am. If you or your band is interested in performing at this event, send me a message on myspace, and I will give you my contact info.
Fred’s would like to thank everyone for their continued support.
Lee
Sometime Sunday morning, a thief dubbed “spiderman” by the Fort Worth CSI robbed the safe at FRED’S. This guy is a PROFESSIONAL. The officers on the call knew who and what had happened the second they walked in the door. Spidey cases the joint, finds out where the safe is, scales the walls, cuts several holes in the roof, uses a scope to find motion detectors, jumps down through the hole with power tools, then methodically and patiently cuts a hole through the safe. This could all take up to 4 hours.
Mission Possible. However exciting this may have been for him, he hurt FRED’S more than say some of the larger corporate places he has hit like Lowe’s or Michael’s MJDesign. Thanks to all of FRED’S friendly patrons, we had an incredible record breaking weekend and this bastard took Saturday night’s bank. Needless to say, new security measures are already in place.
I am writing this to ask for your help in organizing a live music “Event” on the Patio. Not a fundraiser or benefit, but a winter festival to clear the air, if you will. Saturday December 10, weather permitting, FRED’S will host a day of live music on the heated Patio. 12pm-12am. If you or your band is interested in performing at this event, send me a message on myspace, and I will give you my contact info.
Fred’s would like to thank everyone for their continued support.
Lee
posted by stashdauber at 9:40 AM
8 Comments:
people are shit.
i'm against stealing from ANYONE, but hitting small businesses is extra super-shitty.
some crackhead here in philltown just robbed the anarchist bookstore about a week ago taking pretty much every cent they had. true to form, the anarchists refuse to prosecute when and if this leech is caught. i hope the folks at fred's don't hesitate to press charges cause this cat needs to learn hisself a lesson, and soon.
this makes me sad as fred's looks like a righteous pad amd the kind of joint i'd frequent if i lived in the fort. been thinkin' about that chicken fried steak sammie all week, mmmmmmmm...
yeah, what really blows is that the culprit is prolly someone who goes there and noticed the upsurge in biz since terry started listening to his wife and made some improvements to the patio. damn.
this is off topic a bit, but i just wanted to say thanks for the "funeral" image to help me quit smoking. that is one that is really gonna stick with me and i didn't find it coldblooded in the least. it was just what i needed, so thanks again.
el goodo. it's pert fuckin' grim, but effective. my sweetie tells me she wants me to live forever, so now we don't go anywhere on the weekend to hang that we can't walk (altho this'll become more challenging as it's starting to get colder here). i appreciate her being down with helping me do the things i need to do to get / stay healthy -- even if it means foregoing the 22 oz. sirloin at fred's. sigh. ; )
thank god for the women in our lives, and their unending concern for us that will (hopefully) keep us around for a long time.
lord knows i couldn't do it on my own.
my friend sticky d, the most sensible man i know, sez(and i believe) that wimmin are the salt of the earth. no matter what the sitch, they're interested in "making it work." men are more driven by power / ego boo-shee, even if it results in self-destructive behavior. a down thought, but one borne out by my observation / experience.
that sux balls about freds. and yes people are shit.
but Smimi,
is a life without the 22 oz sirloin at freds worth living?
life w/o 22 oz: debatable, sir marlin. maybe my sweetie and i can split it? and take some home?
terry throws some of the noblest steaks on earth. and his bacon wrapped quail ain't half bad either. (i haven't eaten bacon in over a month.)
one of the best fredburgers i ever had was the one terry threw on the grill late one night, even tho the kitchen was closed. when i told him so, he replied, "that's cos i was cooking bacon-wrapped quail on there earlier. what you're tasting is bacon fat."
fat is the greatest medium for flavor on earth. if it tastes good, chances are it has fat in it.
feh. pass the wheat germ.
Post a Comment
<< Home